Sweet November.

June '09

"Change is constant. But it hurts always somehow.. Does that mean hurt is constant ?!"

Several years pass. But one fine sunday you walk into the subway and find yourself standing face to face with him. You go to a party, and you're happy. . But a single song starts a battle, takes you away. Takes you back suddenly to a faraway sunny August morning by a lake.

"Tell me miss, is there any place in your city that isn't beautiful ?!"

And it all brings back with it that heartload of hurt and humiliation, a part of your life in waiting gone vain; before you know more you've cried another silent tear veiled by your smiles. Its so easy to hide from the world sometimes. . and no one ever knows anything. All you do is turn your face and look like you're in a hurry, or pretend you've dust in your eyes. "Excuse me, I've to make a call !" And a discreet wiping of the moistness.

But he always knows. He who found you to live again. . who was there for real when you least expected any form of goodness. . . And you know he is one person you imagined nothing about. . unlike several other people you met before and were proved so wrong by then, each time. He gave himself to you the way he is. And you gave yourself like you gave no one. He who saved you from the dark. He can always tell by your voice that you're unhappy, or worried, or angry or just preoccupied. He won't ask more than twice, but the concern stays in his eyes, in his voice. A single touch of the hand. . and you know how much he loves you. "You can trust me. You know that, right ?"

Thats all it takes. That single look in his eyes, a touch of his hand in yours. And you realize how lucky you've been to have found a new world in this man. . A world that would always be your home. Always shelter you in his love. I'm lucky. It leaves me dazzled to see this man walking beside me, holding my hand through it all. . knowing he'd always be there, no matter what. It gives me all the strength I always lacked. . The love in a way I never had. . It is surreal when I think of it. How the Lord has his ways to give us the answers we seek. Until a point He leaves you shattered beyond repair. . and then sends across his angels to watch over you. Like He sent the Phantom to save me.

With each passing day everything else has been fading. Except you. . And all our time together in the past one year. You gave me an entire lifetime to live by, within less than a year. The summer is nearly over, and we made it through not seeing each other for over 100days. A feat !

Changes are inevitable. But its more like a circle I guess. . after each form of suffering, we eventually do find the love. . and with it, the Peace. The sun shines again !