I’ve lived here for a little less than 2 years. I’ve loved and loathed here, in succession . . had several rabid longings to leave here.. and go back to the place i grew up. or anywhere else. this has resulted in several impromptu trips back home.. and after a point when that was no more a feasibly possible option.. i traveled with friends to other places . . trips that were short but mostly delightful. . more than anything else, they gave me better memories to live with.
The best part about living in greater noida has been the walks. i know, no matter how old i get, and how bad a memory i acquire with that onset of age… i would never forget the beautiful long walks I’ve taken here, with sire, and on a few rare occasions by myself. there’s this one particular stretch of road we’ve loved. . covered on both sides with short trees. . and winding. . with the foot of the trees strewn with golden brown dry leaves. . *sigh*
another thing about here, that i wouldnt ever be able to forget, is its smells. amazing brain paralyzing, vomit inducing, face distorting volley of smells – with an uncanny resemblance to the very odors of a certain chemistry lab that had an experiment gone terribly all wrong.
The infrastructure coming up is huge and awe-inspiring. . in the past 2 years new skeletons of buildings have come up, and in the past one year. . i ve virtually seen (each day) several skeletons of buildings acquiring layers of concrete and cement and turning seemingly overnight into beautiful, strangely artistic monsters of buildings. Be it Eldeco, where i’ve walked with sire in the “old” days . . when there were only heaps of building material. . and we would sit by the end of the road. . lost in conversation. . lost in my senseless yapping usually. . and now its a series of gigantic residential buildings sprawling across kilometers. Then there’s a series of DLF creations. . which until last year were a mess of dusty construction site, cranes and floodlights. and now they’re colossal buildings, lawned and finished to perfection. The best part about all the infrastructure, is the Golf course. . and the roads. the roads are so unlike other parts of India. the only other place i have known with excellent pothole-free roads, is Bhopal. . i’m sure there are many other places, but greater noida of them all, is outstanding. i like the entire plan of the city. The whole concept of Knowledge Park. And the whole separate corporate cluster in Alpha-I, near Kasna Towers. There’s enough greenery to balance the concrete forest coming up so fast. They have parks here. . which is a rare thing. . they are more like gardens, with trees, flowers, and green green grassssssss. . . the round-abouts are beautiful ! pretty creative, especiially Pari chowk. . even though i laughed at its childish look the first time i saw it. . but then one late evening, i saw the angels and the fountains against a deep purple, moon-lit, star studded, clear summer night sky. . . . and i was lost for words.
Greater noida has an orange night sky. when i was little, a few summer night skies would be orange, almost with a reddish glow. and my brother used to scare me that an earthquake, with a massive storm would come the next day. . that was exaggeration on his part to scare his 5 year old sister. . but indeed, there would be rain-storms the day afterward. but here ! its permanently orange at night. plus moon. minus moon. plus cloud. minus clouds. except when its raining. . cause then you cant see much when you look up, except for the ice cold sharp raindrops hitting your face.
. . . and then it smells like heaven !!! so contrary to the almost constant chemistry-lab smell, and the equally absurd and unearthly sweet cake-baking smell. . i totally forgot to mention. this is the weirdest thing i have ever known about a place. . and yes it does smell like cakes. sometimes when im on the bus, returning from college. . i can smell it intensely. . as if somebody were literally baking a cake on the bus itself – with a lot, a LOT of vanilla essence in it, the kinda sickening sweet smell, that initially gives you a craving for a hot, soft, freshly home baked piece of cake; and then soon tires you and makes you want to block that annoyingly sweet odor.
oh i was talkin about the smell of earth !!!! its the same everywhere, across india ! and the only thing about all kinds of weather change, that i love the most ! it makes me drunken, and happy. . and so alive in the simple thought that i could breathe.. and therefore able to smell a smell so pure and fresh, and so simply beautiful.
oh. there is this really interesting thing about here. Blenders Pride ! no not the brand, not the drink. but the paper cover boxes that the bottles come in . . . you will find them everywhere. and i mean everywhere ! black paper cardboard cover, with borders and lettering in gold. 21 years of my life, i had never seen a whiskey bottle up close, nor known any brands other than the really famous few i had read about. but after coming here. . i was so enlightened !
whether it be outside college premises. . parking places outside buildings, at the marketplace. . bus stops, random roads. . oh and as luck would have it, today morning while leaving for college, i saw one lying near the reception of the hostel premises i live in
Oh, and noodles. chowmein as these people fondly call it. they make it with indian spices, even turmeric, and cram it around and around the pan, until it looks like a dense blob of strange inedible “Chinese cuisine”. on the contrary. . you can have excellent egg rolls, simple boiled eggs, crisp salted peanuts, which are perfect ! the vegetables are fresher and taste better than any retail outlet. and the fruits too.
another vilely distinct characteristic of greater noida, are its infamous gujjar creatures. (i dont mean to hurl slander at all gujjars across the world; it is a mere vent to my anger at all the stupid things my friends and i have been through at the hands, and tongues of most of these uncultured swines ! ) yes they are creatures, even ‘creatures’ is a rather kind word for most of them. you will find them in bits and pieces lying here and there . . abhorringly drunk and doped. .(pretty much like the covers of the bottles that the creatures cant possibly afford except for a few luckier ones who can ! with their ill gotten money ! ) on some days these sprawled creatures on the ground here and there virtually outnumber, their four-legged, furry, wet nosed counterparts. . way more gentle and sensible than the former :X
“legend” has it (:P), that in old times, the creatures owned acres of land. . passed on from generation to generation. they farmed, and lived in brotherhood (?) with their own kind. Then one fine day, policies changed. Infrastructure saw a new dimension. . SEZs happened and delhi was extender across ncr and new developmental reforms were felt needed for. so big names like DLF and other such . . bought theese lands from the creatures, and in return paid them huge amounts of money. extortion followed. and more extortion coupled with violence followed. . and ever since the creatures have been getting richer. their victims have moved further to other people they can lavishly rob. and now they think they own this place, because the lands WERE their property, prior to the business deal that paid them money in return relinquishing all rights to the land. . a possible pig-brained mafia with the only minimal intellect that can fuel profanity in its extreme; and ways to terrorise people at the brink of a sentence, or even a word – with archaic knives and daggers; a foul temper, that probably runs in their blood, and is made worse day after day with continuous inebriation, combined with acute illiteracy. i often wonder, if illiteracy were a disease, these dirty arseholes would be rabid, highly infectious parasites. .
- who love to scream when they are on their (most likely stolen or extorted) bikes;
- love to play strange “hat ja tau” typo songs, blaring, so loud that the window panes chatter when these cars come from a distance away;
- love to get angry (usually) at no provocation. . for example. . you’re crossing the road, and a blind gujjar-bikerboy fails to see you, and has to slam brakes, would hurl abuse at you, hurling a worse smell of stale beer. and if you try to say even a word, would run away instantly and come back with another male chauvinist pig who’d be happily brandishing one of those archaic daggers i talked about earlier.
- love to hit women on the backside, while scooting past on a bike. even if its a shoulder. women way out of their reach. ahem ahem. women who wouldnt even care to look at them one time. as if they werent already getting enough porn to watch, and enough of their sluts to lay.
- shouting obscenity at women (especially). i wonder what kind of erectile dysfunction they have – to have to go to such brainless, manic, plain stupid forms of sexual satisfaction. like staring at boobs and asses isnt enough, they continually do themselves with dirty talk. a fresh example from today evening, at pari chowk, while i walked toward a cab, ”Namaste choot mata” – equally detestable as dumb; it made me want to turn back, walk across and smash his organ with a boulder, render him mute for a lifetime with a jaw breaker, and leave him there to writhe for the rest of his life.
oh. . i almost forgot. the most interesting of everything, is greater noida’s bus rides ! yello buses, blue buses, white buses, flyers, cabs, ricksha. name it ! and you shall smell it ! another class of the wonderful series of smells that greater noida is famous for – the smell of sweat. armpit sweat. hair sweat. ball sweat. stale clothes sweat. several other types of stench. . while you hang around in buses, while going either to sector 37, or to delhi, or gurgaon. . or anywhere for that matter. if its not sweat, it ll be booze – desi sharab, stale beer, rare occasions – whiskey. the same alcoholic nightmare for the nose.
oh for the joys of living in greater noida. other than the joys of learning to fake it with the agarwals, or answering back mentally to their faithful butler doggy, who has an enormous love for red neckties. . and the joys of living in the same vicinity with shit brained people, who are potentially an insult to the entire menfolk. . and ofcourse the joys of living in the planned city. . the quiet happy walks, a lifetime of experiences i know i would treasure always, the smell of rain, my first memories of sire, every colossal rainbow. . the cool breeze on summer mornings, sire, chilly densely misty winter nights, nights of gazing at the moon and stars. . golden sunday mornings, every alive moment with sire, the gorgeous sunsets, the greenery, and sire.
i guess the reasons i like greater noida. . will be the only reasons i will never forget greater noida.
