i realised a deep set flaw in me today… it was always there, but today i felt sure of it. when there is something i want.. i tend to forget about everything else. its been so long i havent gone out with friends… i havent met with old college friends even once since i met sire.. i like being with him.. and i knw i ve let it take over me. i can live alone, if i cant get to be with him. . maybe this is bad. i dont know what could be bad. but it hurts. and it is so stupid.
second lesson: the importance of living with enough money. for the first time this month, i understood how difficult life is being broke. even though people try to help, its always weird. until this month i ve never asked for cash like i had to this time. . i hate it.
