uncertainty ~

i used to think it was a good thing. to not expect. to not let myself look at any of the situations thinking i am not important, that it didnt matter if i didnt get what i wanted. . no matter how littlest of things. with passing time i seem to expect lesser. tell myself with every situation that its not a big deal. whenever my mind thinks that something lesser is more important than i am, i admonish my mind tellin it to shut up; that its only being pompous, and over reacting. but something keeps dying inside of me, and i keep wondering when it ll stop. and the worst part ever, is that i am starting to get used to it. and of telling myself that i am over reacting, and that it doesnt matter. that i dont deserve it, so its ok. i miss the peace. what scares me is if i imagined it. maybe because i was so much in need of it. i dont know ?