Divine dumbness !

Its amazing to me how placidly people can judge, talk. talk talk talk. never even a bit about their own flaws. . not about the world issues. but given a chance (or not, how does it even matter) would start The hypoglycemic rant on how much they hate everything about you, how you offend them, and how much you still hurt them being so indifferent despite everything. and then you ll be at a social event trying to make decent conversation, not necessarily because you love social events or the people there. . but cause you 're the 'social animal' (even if its an ogre you are, at that) !

ha.

in the end, after days your friend tells you how they wept to her and felt bad all because you cant filter. so much for all the laughs at your expense (initiated by you yourself, and all in good spirit !) when they were so darn happy that you didnt have The Filtering System. And so much for all the times it became a custom, that any 'social' gathering had to have The jokes at your expense (whether or not initiated by you... it would always be done by the other social animals).

This is so incredibly stupid. But gosh i'll never ever in million eternities, probably have enough of feeling stupid. it beats me how some people can be so damn different than others, some can understand your every thought at the single glimpse of the eye but some others can be so beautifully dumb beyond repair. . you can be verbal and scream but they wont know Lucifer's sigil from a cradle. but some godforsaken of us can still manage being friends with both the kinds. and god one cant help being tired of it one fine day ! and then its Judgement Day.

Its one thing to be laughed at. when you're little, nothing beats that sinking stinging feeling. but you learn to deal with it. you cant help being the ogre in the end and you dont expect others to take you. You make em laugh with you, and not At you. simply cause its fun (and then it officially gives me the right to trip on others, even if they never get that the joke is on them, which makes it even better). there, i go claiming laurels again for divine stupidity !! but it was easier that way. and if they wanted to live with the happy side of you, who gave them the right to judge the other side of you. one cant be perennially happy for others' amusement, unless they were like the other side of them imbecile shallow nitpicking collective-individuals, feeling no more than hunger, thirst and the Need to gossip, always lookin for somebody else to be the next damn day. insanity takes its forms, and its amazing how powerful anger can be. and then when its only the world in the end it all remains The Private Joke that only you can understand and can know that your sire would.